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6 Thought patterns that keep you Stressed Out

29 Aug
 If you are like many people today you are bombarded with daily issues that come your way from work, children, health, finances and everything else in between. So with all this going on, is stress management really a possibility? Can a busy professional, parent or successful entrepreneur really be stress free? I believe that we can all find a sense of peace in our lives no matter what is going on.  Well, I am sure you are wondering how to achieve peace and harmony in your life.  Over the years, I have found that there are six thinking patterns that interfere with a person discovering their sense of peace.

 

  1. You may have an overarching life mantra or saying that keep you trapped in stress, such as saying like” There is never enough time to complete all my task” or “ Nothing will ever change for me”.
  2. You may have developed a time consciousness mindset. You are the type of person that only believes peace and happiness will come once you have achieved a goal. Only to discover that it does not so you keep making new goals with the hopes of receiving joy when they are met.
  3. You may be reliving the life of your parents. This cycle keeps you feeling stuck in an outdated pattern.
  4. You are a Type A personality and you only feel happiness if everything is done perfectly. You tend to have high expectations of yourself and others.
  5. You are an all or nothing type of person. If you start a plan but slip up you stop because you feel you messed up. This keeps you in a cycle of angst.
  6. You have had your share of disappointments and failures and you feel stuck in a pattern. You may be anger or bitter which causes you distress in your personal and work life.


No matter your personality type there are simple techniques that you can apply to help heal and calm your spirit. By learning stress management techniques you will enhance your family and work life. You soon will find that you approach issues and projects differently. Having a peaceful life doesn’t require you to enter a monastery or become a missionary. However, it does require you to open yourself up to change and to allow sufficient time to embody what you learn.

May God bless you and keep you on your journey.

Melisa Alaba

Do you like this article and want to reprint or share? You can, as long as you include this in its entirety: Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach and Counselor. Melisa founded Vision Works Counseling and Coaching to empower and inspire you to live your best life. Melisa helps her clients to discover their vision and purpose for life by providing holistic and traditional coaching methods. Melisa specializing in helping her clients; heal from brokenness, find balance in their personal or work life, improve your family life, revive a dream or to let go of past issues. Join Melisa for wellness classes in the Marietta area and via teleconferences today.

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10 Ways to Re-Connect with your loved ones

24 Jul

Our society is caught up in a state of perpetual busyness. We have trained ourselves to multi-task while reading e-mails, watching television, driving and eating while engaging in work, social media and phone calls. All this multi-tasking has caused us to become more disconnected from our family and friends. We have also convinced ourselves that in order to be successful we have to work long hours during the week and on the weekend. In essence we have lost sight of what is really important.

Spending quality time with our family and friends has been proven to be the highest measure of happiness in one’s life.  I am fortunate to have three beautiful daughters that remind me to stay in the moment everyday. Because I place such high regard for them I listen to what they have shared with me over the years.

The lessons began sixteen years ago and they continue today. This list was compiled with the input of Ariel and Yemi Alaba. These are the things that they told me that every kid desires!

You too can put them to practice to reconnect with your children or loved ones.

Tip#1 Leave your work at work.

Tip #2 Don’t accept business calls in the car, during dinner or family time.

Tip #3 Schedule talk time with your children everyday.

Tip#4 Have fun with them. Don’t just take them to the amusement park but get on the rides.

Tip#5 Preach less and listen more.

Tip#6 Live the lifestyle that you want them to embrace. Teenagers despise hypocrites.

Tip#7 Eat dinner together at least 3 times a week. You will be amazed at what your children will share over dinner.

Tip#8 Take care of yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. Kids want their parents to take care of themselves. An added bonus of living this tip is that your children will emulate this as well.

Tip #9 Praise your children or loved one MORE than you criticize them. They already know their faults. Sometimes they just need a cheerleader.

Tip #10 Don’t put them in the middle of your relationships.  Give your child the opportunity to determine the relationship that they will have with others.  Allow kids to be kids without the pressure of managing family drama.

Being in the moment is so important to keeping and building a healthy relationship. I hope that you were inspired by this post. Write me to let me know how you reconnected with your family and friends.

Do you like this article and want to reprint or share? You can, as long as you include this in its entirety: Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach and Counselor. Melisa founded Vision Works Counseling and Coaching to empower and inspire you to live your best life. Melisa helps her clients to discover their vision and purpose for life by providing holistic and traditional coaching methods. Melisa specializing in helping her clients; heal from brokenness, find balance in their personal  and/or work life, improve family life, revive a dream or to let go of past issues. Learn more at http://www.visionworkscc.com

8 ways to get Unstuck right now!

28 Jun

We have all been there; stuck with no where to go. Being in a rut is a real experience that we all have experienced at one time in our life.  So what do you do when you have no clue about what to do next? Below I have listed 8 ways to discover yourself again and move your life forward.

  1. Meditate daily on good things. Morning meditation will help to clear your mind and restore your focus.
  2. Be grateful for what you have right now.  Gratitude opens the doors to opportunity and receiving more in your life.
  3. Try something new.  Having new experiences in our lives releases creativity in all forms and frees us from boredom and rigidity.
  4. Take a walk.  Walking is a great exercise that releases feel good endorphins.  Soon you will see your life from a clearer perspective.
  5. Visualize your life as you would like it to be. If you can dream it you can receive it.
  6. Help someone else meet their goals. Helping another person achieve success says to the universe my skills and talents are needed and wanted.
  7. Join a mastermind group, get coaching or mentor, read an educational book. Seeking counsel is not only wise but, it will help you to accomplish your goals faster.
  8. Give something away. When we give items away that we no longer use we are saying to God “ I have more than enough”. Giving feels good and never goes unnoticed.


I hope you enjoyed these tips. Please pass them on to anyone who needs to get Unstuck today. Life is a journey and together we will all get to our destination.

Do you like this article and want to reprint or share? You can, as long as you include this in its entirety: Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach and Counselor. Melisa founded Vision Works Counseling and Coaching to empower and inspire you to live your best life. Melisa helps her clients to discover their vision and purpose for life by providing holistic and traditional coaching methods. Melisa specializing in helping her clients; heal from brokenness, find balance in their personal or work life, improve your family life, revive a dream or to let go of past issues.

10 Steps to Recession Proof your Mind

29 May

The recession took many Americans by surprise. Before the recession, Americans were accustomed to “Big” living. We were living the American dream plenty of jobs, nice homes, big trucks and luxury vacations. Not to mention daily doses of Starbucks and dining out with friends. Many of us had an abundant mentality. We imagined life would always be this way so when the recession struck folks were taken for a loop. We witnessed or experienced job loss, loss of self-esteem, extremely high stress levels and anxiety over our daily living. In essence we were shocked into our new reality. Life in America had changed. Now that the recession is over many of these symptoms remain. So here are a few tips to recover from what you have experienced in the last five years.

 1. Recognize – Your new feelings of fear, anxiety and stress derive from feeling out of control of your situation. Then write down exactly what you feel and how this experience has changed you. You may notice that not only have you changed your spending habits but you have also increased the amount of negative self-talk and outward conversations that you engage in. 

 2. Be thankful – God has brought you through. Look at all the blessings that have come out of learning to live on less. You may have lost your job but maybe you gained time with your children and family. Be grateful for the people that helped you through this time and the lessons learned that you will carry into your future. Maybe you learned how to explore the city while on a budget, or perhaps you discovered how useful and fun the local library can be.

 3. Release – The pain, anger, fear and anxiety of the past. Acknowledge your feelings with an understanding that they are valid. You just went through a hurricane. You lost stuff that you loved. As this was taking place you were forced to maintain a sense of normalcy while putting the pieces together for yourself and your family. Now release those negative feelings. Give them back to God and the earth. Because you no longer need them. You have overcome.

 4. Rebuild – Now it’s time to build you up again. Meditating daily on positive sayings and scripture will assist you in shifting your thoughts. Repeat to yourself daily” I have more than enough” and “I give to the needy”. It’s important to reprogram your thinking. Catch yourself when you say things like “Well, I’m robbing Peter to pay Paul” or “You take one step forward and you get knocked back two steps.” When you are inclined to recite a negative thought replace it with a new mantra. Eventually, you will notice a shift in your living and thoughts. This step takes time because you are working to replace old thought patterns. Naturally they will want to persist but trust me daily affirmations and mediation works. Make time to apply this step daily. Soon you too will notice a shift in your life. 

 5. Give – Abundant people give to others. You can give of your time, talent or items that you are not currently using. Giving releases you from the stronghold of the “not enough” mentality. Notice around you that givers always have more than enough. Reaping and sowing is a biblical universal law that works. So put it to practice in your life. Now don’t misinterpret my feelings on giving. I believe saving is important; in fact it’s vital for your future. But giving is equally as important because it says to God and the universe I trust you and I know you will give me back more than I can every give you. It frees your mind up to trust a process that can only be sum up with this scripture: Luke 6:38 -Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” give and it will be given back to you. Given pressed down and shaken. 

6. Relax – The biggest lesson that the recession taught us all is that Americans work harder than any other group in the world. We move faster, sleep less and eat more. Basically, we over load our body with stress on a regular basis. Before the recession we did this in an effort to keep up with the Jones. Well, the Jones’ are broke and tired. Now is the perfect time to get accustomed to taking care of our bodies, minds and enjoying life. So once you land that new job or your business takes off again, resist the urge to splurge on things that will not bring you peace or joy. Rather continue to enjoy all the things you had learned to appreciate during the recession such as nature, quality time with family, quiet time and peace. Continue to save your money and keep a “Peace of Mind” fund. Stuff happens but being prepared will reduce your stress levels. 

 7. Spirituality – Stay centered on God and the love he has for you. He loves you despite your flaws and imperfection. Begin to enjoy quiet time with him in the morning and evening. Take time to meditate on his word. For some you may hold some anger against God. You may believe that he doesn’t love you because if he did you would not have gone through this mess in the first place. But know that God gives us freewill. Many of us made a lot of bad choices that lead to you having a greater fall. And even if it was not your fault. God is still in control and he promises that your end will be better than your beginning. So take heart and learn what the word of God says about your life. You will be surprised at the messages he is trying to get to you. 

 8. Vision – Create a new vision for your life. You were hit hard and maybe you are still recovering and not sure what is next. Take some time to write down the vision that God has instilled in you. Your hopes and dreams will come to pass. Get a clear visual of what those dreams are. Build new support groups around you that support your dreams. Decrease your involvement with people that fight the changes that are important for you to accomplish your goals. 

 9. Communicate – Discuss the lessons you have learned with your children. Help them to recognize how you are coping. Explain to them in way that makes sense. Help them to understand that you all still have a bright future. Teach them to value time and not material things. Help them to learn money management and entrepreneur skills. Learning to create their own wealth at a young age will recession proof their minds for the future. 

 10. Balance – You may have a new job or a business venture that has taken off, but are you reliving old patterns? If you find yourself performing tasks because you think the opportunity will not come again. Recognize this is fear and anxiety. Repeat step one, two and three and remember to maintain balance. Exercise, eat healthy and take time to pray and meditate daily, because you can’t be replaced. Do not go back to the overwork zone. This was unhealthy before the recession and it is unhealthy today. Choosing peace and joy is a life style. Everyday  take steps toward finding and keeping balance in your life.

 The recession has caused all of us to take pause and to reassess our lives. We all were affected in some way. Take time to fully recover so that you may live the full life that God promised. Remember the lessons but move forward with courage and conviction for your future because the best is yet to come!



If this message has helped you please pass it on to someone else who can use an encouraging word.


Wishing you Peace and Joy,
Melisa Alaba








Do you like this article and want to reprint or share? You can, as long as you include this in its entirety: Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach and Counselor. Melisa founded Vision Works Counseling and Coaching to empower and inspire you to live your best life. Melisa helps her clients to discover their vision and purpose for life by providing holistic and traditional coaching methods. Melisa specializing in helping her clients; heal from brokenness, find balance in their personal or work life, improve your family life, revive a dream or to let go of past issues.

Finding Your Passion and Making Bank in the Process!

6 May
Do you know that you can actually earn from the results of your hard work in finding your passion? And that is not the only goal that you will likely get in the process. If you feel like you are stuck in your current job, you have to rethink your life and where you are taking it. You are the driver of your own vehicle and you decide where you will go. But you are only human so you must be open for mistakes and other challenges that life may bring along your journey.
Living to earn is very different from earning a living. With the latter, you can be more adventurous. Life can be more fun, especially when you are pursuing the things that you really like and earning money in the process. This is the reason why people who have chosen an unlikely route just so they can earn good amount of cash will likely feel the downside of their decision at some point on their lives.

Comfort Zone

Are you at a place where you feel like you are already too comfortable? This is not really a good thing. If you have been working the same job, which was not what you really wanted to do deep in your heart, over time you have been able to embrace mediocrity. You have learned how to work your way through the job where you won’t get into any trouble. You get your job done by repeating the same tasks over and over again every day. This set up may be giving you enough money to live by. But are your living the life that you really wanted to attain? If not, then maybe it is time to get out of your comfort zone.
You have to take risks in order to know your capabilities. You must not be afraid to fail because that is part of the whole ballgame. You just have to learn from your own mistakes.

Earning from Your Passion

If you really love what you are doing, you will eventually excel in it. You can even pursue your passion as a side project aside from your real job. This is ideal for people who are afraid to lose their main source of income. Your passion can actually bring in more cash if you will be able to utilize them well to your advantage. For example, you are good in writing or painting. You only have to use your talents, hone them and soon enough, you will surprise everyone that your passion has led you to more profitable source of income.
If you will open yourself to these kinds of possibilities, there will come a time when you can comfortably choose your passion and drop the job that you don’t really like and earn as much as well. This is a very ideal situation because when you love what you are doing, it will show in the quality of work that you are producing. It will also reflect on how you live your life and your attitude towards anything that you may encounter as you go through it.

 

But wait a minute! Setting the right goals and finding your passion may not be as easy as it seems to be. You really have to think hard about it so that you can be led to the right course. Working with a professional Life Coach or Counselor will assist you in preparing for new venture. Be wise and receive good counsel so that you can have a solid foundation for your transition.

Best wishes,

Melisa Alaba
“The Vision Coach”
http://www.visionworkscc.com

Do you like this article and want to reprint or share?
You can, as long as you include this in its entirety: Melisa Alaba is a Life Coach and Counselor. Melisa founded Vision Works Counseling and Coaching to empower and inspire you to live your best life. Melisa helps her clients to discover their vision and purpose for life by providing holistic and traditional coaching methods. Melisa specializing in helping  clients; heal from brokenness, find balance in their personal and work life, restore relationships, revive dreams and let go of past issues.

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